Widowed: The First 90 Days

The story: One small step at a time

Ruth, recently widowed, sits with friend Grace at the kitchen table and makes a short list of must-dos and a few dates, leaving big decisions for later.

1. Narrator: Ruth’s spouse, Sam, died last month. Friends keep asking Ruth about the house and the money.
2. Ruth: I can’t think about big decisions yet.
3. Grace: You don’t have to. Let’s do the few must-dos and write down the few dates. Everything else can wait.
4. Narrator: First, copies of the death certificate. Then calls to Social Security, the pension and the insurers.
5. Narrator: A few dates matter, like this year’s required withdrawal and the home-sale tax window. The rest can wait.
6. Grace: And if anyone calls with a quick deal, we’ll talk first. Some people target new widows and widowers.
7. Ruth: One small step at a time. Thank you.

What you’ll learn

1. The first must-dos

   Get several copies of the death certificate. Tell Social Security (the funeral home often does this) and ask about survivor benefits. Call the pension, the insurers and any employer about benefits.

2. Keep money flowing

   Keep essential bills paid, and learn which income stops. Social Security doesn’t pay for the month of death, so a payment that arrives the next month must be returned.

3. A few dates to note

   If your spouse hadn’t taken this year’s RMD, it still has to come out by year-end. A surviving spouse also has a limited window to sell the home and still use the couple’s larger tax-free amount. The rules are on the cards.

4. Values, patience and caution

   Ask each account for its value on the date of death. For many assets, that value sets a new tax starting point. Wait on big decisions, and be wary of anyone pushing a quick deal.

Key words

survivor benefits

income for a surviving spouse, like a Social Security survivor check

death certificate

the official proof of death

date-of-death value

what an account was worth on the day of death

Common questions

Is there a one-time payment from Social Security?

There’s a small lump-sum death payment for some surviving spouses or children. Ask when you call. The fact card links to the rules.

Who can help me with all of this?

A trusted friend or family member, the funeral home, the bank and free counselors through your local Area Agency on Aging can all help. You don’t have to do it alone.

Remember this

Do the few must-dos, note the few deadlines, and wait on the rest.

Try it: Mark which income continues

1. On your money map, mark which income continues and which stops.
2. Write down the few dates from this lesson.
3. Ask one trusted person to help with calls.

No account: list each income on one sheet of paper and mark which continues.

Live facts

Numbers that change over time, with when they were last checked and where they come from.

• Survivor benefits, the lump-sum payment and the month-of-death rule

  Source: SSA.gov(opens in a new tab)

• The home-sale exclusion for a surviving spouse

  Source: IRS.gov(opens in a new tab)

• Taxes for survivors: final returns, RMDs and date-of-death values

  Source: IRS.gov (Publication 559)(opens in a new tab)